Department Commences Operations
Following no debate whatsoever, the Department has opened its doors. The doors are decorative.
Official internet premises
The nation’s least urgent digital work, performed with maximum ceremony.
The Department develops, maintains, and preserves websites that answer questions nobody needed answered.
$0Government funding
secured to date
secured to date
Article I
Form DUW-001/M
Form DUW-001/M
Our Mission
To develop, maintain, and preserve websites that perform functions of questionable necessity, provide information of negligible practical value, and uphold the internet’s proud tradition of being weird for absolutely no reason.
Respectfully submitted,
Percival J. Wobbleton III
Form DUW-12 · Public-facing bureaus
Department Directory
Retrieving the Department’s sole useful record…
Office of the Director
Schedule 1-A
Schedule 1-A
Percival J. Wobbleton III
Founder, Director & Acting Undersecretary
Percival J. Wobbleton III
Director
Director
Percival
Deputy Director
Deputy Director
P. J. Wobbleton
Webmaster
Webmaster
Mr. Wobbleton
Acting Intern
Acting Intern
All requests are escalated immediately, then returned to the original desk.
2026 Annual Accomplishments
- 1Website deemed technically extant
- 0Questions of consequence answered
- 47Meetings avoided through lack of staff
- ∞Potential mandates remaining
Source: Bureau of Pointless Statistics. Figures unaudited and, in one case, metaphysical.
Departmental Notices
Webmaster Advisory
Portions of this site may remain under construction indefinitely to preserve historical authenticity.